Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Trials and Tribulations of the Tooth Fairy: Take 2

A couple years ago (I just realized it was almost exactly two years ago..crazy!), I blogged about the Trials and Tribulations of being the Tooth Fairy. What that translates to basically is that I suck at being the tooth fairy. I always have and I probably always will. Case in point:

The other night The Girl lost a tooth. She has to be getting close to being done with that, because she's 11. I don't remember when I lost my last tooth, but 11 seems kind of old, don't you think? Anyway, she used floss to pull her loose tooth out and then brought it to me, all kinds of excited. Why? Because the Tooth Fairy was coming, of course.

Now, if you think 11 is old to be losing teeth (as I do) you're going to think 11 is especially old for the Tooth Fairy, right? Well, the truth is, I think she knows the Tooth Fairy isn't real, but chooses to play dumb so she gets money. She's hinted in the past about it and I just haven't confirmed or denied yet.

The thing is, both the kids are getting older and 1) before long they'll be grown and moved out, so I savor this time and 2) if I tell The Girl that means I have to tell Little Man, because she won't be able to keep a lid on it. So, I let her go on believing in the Tooth Fairy for now. Sue me.

But..well, I'm a crappy Tooth Fairy. I don't do it on purpose, but I can't be bothered to remember to put money under their pillow. I'd like to say I did better this time around, but that would be lying. The truth is, just like the last 5 (or 10) times the Tooth Fairy was scheduled to arrive, I screwed up and completely forgot.

Luckily, I remembered when I went to wake her up for school in the morning and I was able to sneak into the kitchen and get a dollar in quarters to slip under her pillow. The problem? I couldn't find her dang tooth. I searched through the bedcovers and under her pillows and even checked behind her bed, but couldn't find it anywhere. Eventually I just gave up and figured it would either turn up at some point or it was gone for good.

When I woke The Girl up the first thing she said was, "Mom, the Tooth Fairy didn't come!" I said, "Really? How do you know?" and she told me she woke up in the night and checked and no money was under her pillow. I told her the Tooth Fairy probably just hadn't made it yet and she should check again. Yes, I'm bad to encourage her, I know.

Crisis averted, right? Well, except for later that evening, she came running from her room with her tooth in hand. Apparently it had fallen on the floor. I convinced her the Tooth Fairy had left it for me because this was likely her last baby tooth and I wanted to keep it (yes, this is a running theme for me). She rolled her eyes but agreed that was fine. She handed me the sandwich baggy it was in and that's when I noticed something odd: It had writing on it.

The top part (as shown above) says, "Here's My Tooth." Way to be helpful, kid.

But it was the bottom half of the bag I found curious. Want to see?

I know it's a little hard to read, so let me help you out. It says, "My Request, $2.00." My request? $2.00? No the child did not just ask the Tooth Fairy for $2.00! Only my child, I swear.

I'm reminded of the first tooth The Girl lost. With that one she asked to write a note to the Tooth Fairy to be placed under her pillow with her tooth. I can't remember how old she was, but I know she couldn't read or write, because she dictated the letter to me (I still have it saved somewhere). I can't remember what it said word for word, but it was along the lines of:

Thank you so much for taking my tooth, but you don't have to leave me any money. Instead you should give it to starving kids in Africa so they aren't starving anymore and I don't have to eat my peas at dinner. Thank you for being so generous (she really used words like that, no joke)! Love, The Girl.

Oh how her tune has changed.



Dev said...

Ha ha. Only your daughter, I swear.

You're not the only one who sucks at being the tooth fairy. I remember one year kiddo lost a tooth and decided she was going to try to wait up for the tooth fairy. It was not good. I fell asleep before she did.

Kiddo woke me up in tears because the tooth fairy didn't come. She hadn't taken her tooth, and she hadn't left her anything. I turned it into a bit of a game ~ quickly jotted a note to her that the tooth fairy wanted to play hide and seek with her prize. If she found the prize, the tooth fairy would make a special trip back to take the tooth.

Kiddo played along, but I don't think she believed the whole note thing.

Casee said...

Hahahahaha!! That's hilarious. Freaking kids.

You think $2 is a lot? This year, Jack Jr has gotten a total of FIVE teeth pulled. Teeth that aren't supposed to come out for years. The tooth fairy felt so bad (and these were big mother-f-ers) that she gave him $5-freaking-dollars per tooth.

When I've forgotten (which was recently), I told him that the tooth fairy was probably sick. He left a note telling her he hopes she feels better-oh and did she forget any other kids? LOL

Tricia Fields said...

I suck at being the tooth fairy, too. The last tooth my son lost, he just gave to me and asked for money. Oh, and kids can lose teeth up into their teens, it's kinda an individual thing, but most of them are done by 12. Just FYI. :-)

JenB said...

Leaving an invoice for the Tooth Fairy. Niiice. Smart little businesswoman you've got there. :)

I lost my last tooth at 11 too. I remember because I was in sixth grade.

I used to leave notes asking the Tooth Fairy to please not take my teeth. I wanted to keep them.

And once the Tooth Fairy left me a lot more than usual. I think it was $5 or $10. When I showed my parents the next morning (on purpose 'cause I knew who the Tooth Fairy was), they looked surprised and said they thought the Tooth Fairy probably didn't mean to leave that much. LOL

Anonymous said...

Ha! I thought I was the only sucky tooth fairy!!! :)

My kids are teens now, but they love to laugh about all how insanely busy their tooth fairy was... See, I used to completely forget. Then I'd have a sad daughter come down the stairs and tell me "Mama, the tooth fairy didn't come."

Broke my heart! LOL So the first excuse that would come to mind was "Well our tooth fairy has a huge area to cover so she's very busy. Just give her some time. Maybe she'll come while you're at school!"

Yes I was that lame! Often I forgot then too and the tooth fairy would come another night... or day! LOL

So you're not alone. Tooth fairy duty is tough!!! I didn't get any better at it with my son either. *sigh* Oh well! :)

Fun blog! I wrote a fiction blog about a tooth fairy called "The Prisoner"... Stop by and check it out sometime... :)


Holly said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only rotten tooth fairy. Sometimes it's hard being me. *g*

Kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for sometimes, don't you think? ha!

Lori said...

LMAO!! I, too, suck at being the tooth fairy. We had a period of about 3 years between when Jeff lost his last tooth and when Steve lost his next one (he went from 2nd to 5th grade without losing a single tooth!) And yes, I think Jeff lost his last molar somewhere around 11.

I always remember when I go to wake him up also. Only our tooth fairy leaves gold dollars. So I always have to keep them on hand. Hell!

CindyS said...

I love that she left a requested amount. Where do they come up with this stuff!?

My BF was talking about the tooth fairy just last night and let everyone know that her tooth fairy leaves 5 bucks a tooth. Uh, yeah, you can't afford toilet paper but your kids get DOLLAR BILLS for teeth!

I believe ours was a nickel for the small ones, a dime for the in between and a quarter for the big ones. And I'm not that old darnit!!

And we had a tooth box - round box we put the tooth in. Probably easier for the parents to scoop under, grab it and put the money in.

Good luck - hopefully it was her last tooth ;)


Christine said...

Great story. I've got quite a few tooth fairy blunders, too. Oh and a big Santa one, too. Maybe I'll save that one for closer to Christmas.

My now 13 y.o. was late getting and losing her teeth. She lost her first tooth in December of 2nd grade. She was over 7 1/2 years old. They don't have tooth charts in 2nd grade, nor do any of your peers care anymore. Poor kid. Totally missed out on that fun.

Anyway, for her first tooth she got a $5, then the second one she got a crisp $1. She held it in her hand and was like, "One Dollar?!? That's it? I got five last time?" I tried to explain that the first tooth was special. My husband was like, "Why didn't you just give her $5? It's only gonna be like $100 spread out over several years?" So now they get $5 per tooth.

Would you believe some of her peers get $20??!!

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