Thursday, February 25, 2010

I Just Don't Understand

How can a child go from this:

to this:

in less than a month? And this is AFTER she turned in late assignments. The grades were a lot worse two days ago. The numbers in red are missing assignments, btw. Every time I see that D I want to puke. Ugh.

I'm trying to remember why it's a bad idea to beat your children....

As punishment, she's grounded for 5 weeks. One for every missing assignment. She has until tomorrow to make up the assignments she's already missing or I'm going to start taking away her extracurricular activities. First we're taking away sign language. If she still hasn't turned in all missing assignments by Monday we're also taking away tennis. If she doesn't have all missing assignments turned in by Friday of next week we're taking away all extracurricular activities for the rest of the year.

At the beginning of the last semester we started working on the rewards program. For every week TG went without missing an assignment she would get a new book (trust me, this is huge for her. She reads as much as I do.). Since she's missing 5 assignments she gets no new books for 5 weeks (she's all kinds of tore up over that). Once she's completed her 5 weeks of punishment we'll talk about going back to a rewards system.

During this 5 weeks of punishment, for every assignment that doesn't get turned in (or gets turned in late), she'll be grounded an additional 2 weeks. Normally her punishments don't overlap like this, but I'm making an exception because I think she needs to understand how serious this is.

She also has to tread very, very carefully with MM. You see, MM put TG on the "B or Better" program. Basically, beginning this year - 7th grade - if TG keeps her grades at B or Better, MM will buy her a car when she gets her license. He will also pay her insurance as long as she maintains B's or better, and will do all maintenance on her car (seems like there's something else he offered to do, but I can't remember what now). This is totally between them..I have nothing to do with it.

The only reason she hasn't lost the car yet is because we said B or Better on her report card. Since report cards don't come out for several weeks, she's just barely skimming under the wire.

Other than the above, I honestly don't know what to do with her. This is not a new issue. We've been fighting with her about missing work since kindergarten. There isn't much I haven't tried at this point.

Why can't I just have easy children? All I want in life is a kid who does her homework on time without being asked. It's not like I'm asking for the moon here.


Lori said...

Yes, you're asking for the moon. Trust me. Steve went from a B+ to a D in Science. 2 missing assignments was all it took. The stuff he's done? B+. He did turn in the missing work in English and brought his D back up to a B. But he has no phone until the 3rd quarter grades come out. Oy. I feel your pain.

Anonymous said...

As a teacher, I have to say that I appreciate the fact that you are taking these grades seriously and are taking away privileges until the grades come back up. I can't tell you how many times parents have told me they were going to take away things like phones, etc. until grades rose, but then didn't follow through. When I've offered to tutor during lunch or after school, some parents have actually said, "I'll see if he/she wants to. He/she likes to _________ then." Ugh! I appreciate that you and MM aren't letting TG think that working below her abilities is an option.

Holly said...

@Lori - When I read your post the other day i really felt like you were channeling me. So frustrating.

@Eyre - I know a lot of TG's friends have parents like that. One little girl supposedly bought alcohol to school the other day and her mom was mad AT THE SCHOOL for punishing her. I couldn't believe it.

I know I'm really hard on her, but what kind of life will she have if I'm not? I think about some of these other parents who let their kids do what they want and it makes me wonder what kind of adults they'll be? Scary thought.

Dr J said...

Wow, that's a drop! I'm glad that you're making her see that there are major consequences for not doing her work. Kids need to know that just because they're kids they can't slack off. School IS their job and if they did that bad in a job they'd get fired. At least that's how I explain it to my oldest. :)

Tracy said...

Uh - that comment above was from me. I was trying to fix something on my mom's blog and forgot to sign out. duh. lol

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