Friday, March 6, 2009

The "P" Word

Last night I made Tamale Pie for dinner. It's basically a casserole made with ingredients similar to those in regular tamales. As we were sitting around the table eating, the following conversation ensued.

Little Man, who is the pickiest eater ever says, "Mom, why did you put bacon in this?"
Me: Because the recipe called for it. It gives it extra flavor.
LM: Oh.
The Girl says: LM doesn't like bacon.
MM rolls his eyes and says, "Do you like sausage?"
LM: Yes.
MM and I look at each other, b/c hello, it all comes from the same place.
LM, misunderstanding our exchange says, "Not that kind of sausage!"
LM and TG bust up laughing.

Whoa. Wait a minute. What? Little Man is 9. What kind of sausage would a 9 year old be talking about?

MM says, "What does that mean? What's so funny?"
TG: LM has been hanging out with Kyle too much.
MM: I asked LM what that meant, not you. Let him answer.

Little Man is giggling so hard now he can't breathe and The Girl joins him.

Finally LM mumbles something that sound suspiciously like "wee wee sausage" and MM and I stare at each other for a minute. I raise an eyebrow in a "did he really say what I think he said" kind of way and MM shrugs. We both turn back to Little Man and demand he repeat himself. After several more minutes of giggling...

MM: Little Man, what kind of sausage were you referring to?
LM: Wee Wee Sausage.
MM: Wee Wee Sausage? You mean like Lil' Smokies?
LM shakes his head: No, MM, not like that.
MM: Well, those are the only Wee Wee Sausages I know of. Oh, did you mean PENIS?
The Girl: OMG! Stop! *she covers her ears* Don't say it again!
MM: Why? That's what it's called. That's the clinical term for it. Check your science book.
TG: OMG!!! They don't have that in my science book. They have things like Earthquakes and stuff.
Me: Babe, I think they might be a bit young to have that in their science books.
MM: Oh. Well eventually TG, you'll have Penis' in your science book.
TG: OMG! Stop! Mom, can I leave the table? Please?!?
MM: Why do you want to leave the table?
MM to LM: So, did you mean Lil' Smokies or Penis'?

At that point The Girl got up and hid and in the pantry. 5 seconds later when MM said "Penis" again, Little Man joined her.

You know what I wanna know? Who the hell is Kyle and what has he been teaching my child?


Anonymous said...

You know I'm reading this stuff to prepare for the day my already smart-alec 4 yo hits these kinds of topics. Whew! Could be any day now, actually.

Tracy said...

I swear they are growing up too fast!!

My 6 year old said something the other day (I can't remember what though) that prompted her to say "weiner". I said, do you mean, hot dog? She said no - the one between boys legs. Hello! You are friggin 6!

Lori said...

Oh, grasshopper. You have much to learn.

Listen to me, my dear. From here on out, you have three things you must do/learn.

One: realize that your children will now learn everything they know from their friends.

Two: realize that you can now embarrass the hell out of them, and use it to your best advantage. Never overdo, or it loses its effectiveness. Trust me on this.

Three: It's all about the PENIS. For them both. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Haha. Holls, I LOVE this blog. It always makes me laugh!

Kat said...

I was about 9 when I had my first sex ed class, so it sounds about right. I knew about penises way before then. (In a purely theoretical way!) But my mum gave us sanitised sex ed books as soon as we began asking curious questions. My brother used to read his over and over and over again. LOL

CindyS said...

My BF is very open about sex and stuff but even she had a WTF moment a few weeks ago.

Her son who is 12 years old asked if she knew what a blow job was.


She was so stunned she just answered 'yes'.

He then asked if she'd ever had one.

'No, women don't have them'

Thankfully the story stops there. Ugh.


nath said...

LOL :) Wee wee sausage?!?

I think kids are sexually aware way too young in these days... but that's another story... but at least, they should be using correct words.

and LOL, looks like Lori gave you good advices! :)

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